


cause in my world I’m constantly having a breakthrough (or a breakdown)

by grabmyboner



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Harringrove, Hurt Steve Harrington, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Steve Harrington, Panic Attacks, Protective Billy Hargrove, Steve Harrington Needs a Hug, This is just really sad I’m so sorry, i’m really sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:01:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23105161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grabmyboner/pseuds/grabmyboner
Summary: Billy drops to his knees and shuffles over to sit next to Steve. He wraps his arm around Steve’s shoulder, pulling Steve’s sobbing frame tightly against him.-It’s a sad one boys.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 16
Kudos: 218





	cause in my world I’m constantly having a breakthrough (or a breakdown)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hannahhsolo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahhsolo/gifts).



> uh this is really short and really sad and I’m really sorry. 
> 
> Steve doesn’t deserve me projecting myself on to him, I will repay him soon with a sweeter fic. 
> 
> Title is from clementine by halsey (don’t @ me beeech)
> 
> Thank you for reading. As always, comments are welcome! 
> 
> \- - - 
> 
> A gift to my love for helping me breathe.

“Look at me, hey, Stevie. C’mon just look at me. Nothing else but me.”

And Steve tries to look up at Billy, where he’s crouched in front of Steve. But tears blur Steve’s vision and he _can’t_ see Billy and he _can’t_ breathe, god he can’t fucking _breathe_. 

“I-I, uh, _Billy_ ,” Steve sobs out and hugs his knees tighter to his chest. 

The drywall thuds when Steve knocks his head against it. His chest is hurting. It’s aching. He feels hollow almost. Feels like there are ants crawling inside his empty corpse and eating him from the inside out. 

Billy drops to his knees and shuffles over to sit next to Steve. He wraps his arm around Steve’s shoulder, pulling Steve’s sobbing frame tightly against him. 

The hair tickles at Billy’s neck where Steve has shoved his face against the skin to cry into, sniffling and breathing in _Billy_ in his breakdown. Billy pats over his hair. 

“Baby, just breathe along with me, okay? Can you do that for me?” Billy asks so softly it’s almost drowned out by Steve’s gasps for air. 

Steve tries to breathe along with Billy. Listening to his deep breaths and following as best he can. 

Billy’s cologne and smoky, rusty scent flood Steve’s brain til all he can think and see and smell is _Billy Billy Billy._

He can feel coarse fingertips rubbing circles on his hip, under his shirt, he concentrates on the motion. Continuing to breathe along with Billy. 

“That’s great, Stevie. Doin’ real good, knew you could do it,” Billy whispers against the top of his head before pressing a firm kiss in the same place. 

Steve wonders if it’ll be like this forever, if he’ll lose his breath and feel empty for no reason. If he’ll feel this never-ending guilt inside him forever—that no matter what he does to make amends, it will never feel good enough. He will never be good enough. 

Billy scratches at his side, “Stop thinking.” 

Steve pushes his nose further into Billy’s neck. 

“You’re good, Steve. You’re a good person.” 

Steve hopes that one day he can believe Billy. 


End file.
